The Starving Games
|The Starving Games is a 2013 American parody film based on The Hunger Games and directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. The film stars Maiara Walsh, Cody Christian, Brant Daugherty, Lauren Bowles, Juhahn Jones, Chris Marroy, Diedrich Bader, and Kennedy Hermansen.|
Kantmiss Evershot pratices archery in the forest, but her boyfriend, Dale, surprises her; the arrow flies off course and wounds the Wizard of Oz. They return home to District 12, where the inhabitants searh and fight for food. Harry, Ron and Hermione also arrive, with Harry attempting a spell; however, a guard confiscates and breaks his wand, saying their movie franchise is over. At the Gathering for the 75th annual Starving Games, president Snowballs, a sadistic prick and movie plot spoiler, explains he sepearated America into districts to keep “stupid stuff” from happening again, such as Lady Gaga being president previsouly; due to this, the rich now dress in bright and ridiculous clothing. During the drawing for District 12’s contestants in the games, a bit of trouble occurs as vulger name puns get drawn first. When Kantmiss’s sister, Petunia, gets picked, she tricks Kantmiss into volunteering in her place; Dale tries volunteering too, but moronic Peter Malarky beats him to it. Snowballs warns the producer not to let someone who could start a revolution participate, not knowing it’s Kantmiss. During a talk show prior to the games, each contestant is introduced; Kantmiss catches fire and runs around, trying to put it out. The audiance doesn’t help, only laughing at her agony.
When the game begins, Kantmiss watches others fight for equipment as their numbers dwindle, due to getting what they want or being killed in scruffles. Kantmiss grabs a backpack (which has just about everything she needs) as another girl does; she refuses to let go even after getting stabbed by knives. Another contestant bisects the girl, giving Kantmiss the backpack. Kantmiss tries fleeing, but the producer sends Angry Birds to attack her; she defeats them and squashes the Annoying Orange. Peter teams up with Marco’s group, who aim to kill Kantmiss. They flee when she knocks down a beehive; however, it lands on her head, leaving her badly stung. The venom makes Kantmiss hallucinate that she’s a Na vi; a male Na vi convinces her to link hairbraids, since it’s intimate. Kantmiss is slapped back to her senses by a little girl also in the games; they team up, vowing to kill each other after the other contestants. While Kantmiss dispatchs a group of contestants by playing on the weaknesses, the girl gets injured. Though not fataly wounded, the girls dies due to Taylor Swift singing that she will.
Wanting to spice up the games, Snowballs wants a lesbian love story, but learns Kantmiss is the only woman left; he OKs a normal romance, but with a twist ending. The producer announces a couple can win the games, making Kantmiss decide to team up with competant Marco over idiotic Peter; however, the producer fakes being killed to convince her to search for Peter instead. She finds Peter, who has been badly injured by Marco’s group via rough back waxing. Kantmiss kills all but Marco, fleeing with Peter to a cave. Seeing Kantmiss is keeping distant from Peter, the producer offers a trade; he’ll send medical supplies to treat Peter’s wounds if she gets more intimate with him. As Kantmiss and Peter cuddle for warmth, Gandolf and Hagrid appear in the cave, lechrously groping her; they are promptly evicted. To get better medical supplies, Kantmiss has wild, protected sex with Peter, which is televised. Dale is left digusted by this and barges into the Starving Games arena.
The next day, Peter tries getting Kantmiss to have sex with him again, but she nearly crushes his fingers in response. They and Marco end up walking around the same tree, trying to find the other; the audiance is annoyed as they should easily be able to find each other. Kantmiss and Peter suprise Marco, but an armed Dale arrives, telling Kantmiss to come back with him. However, Kantmiss simply orders him to leave; he promptly breaks up with her, while Kantmiss dismissess him as clingy. Marco holds Peter hostage, but Kantmiss kills him by shooting a loaf a bread through his eye. The producer then announces the Starving Games’ original rule is back in place, meaning Kantmiss is to kill or be killed. Peter tries convincing Kantmiss to commit suicide with him by ingesting poisonous berries, to not give those in chrage the satisfaction of them fighting to the death; however, Kantmiss simply kills Peter with an arrow, saying it’s nothing personal.
Nick Fury and the Avengers later show up, confusing Kantmiss. Fury says that he always shows up at the end of movies (which is quite true); Kantmiss quickly points out that this one doesn’t belong to the Marvel franchise. However, Fury explains that he was so impressed with Kantmiss’s skills, that he wants her to join the Avengers team as a replacement for Hawkeye. Hawkeye is greatly offended by this, and ends up crying.